Kim Macdonald: Money can buy happiness, and other advice from Perth mums

Recent high school and university graduates are facing endless opportunity and probably just as much unsolicited advice. At the risk of burdening anyone with more uninvited albeit well-meaning advice, I do have some nuggets of wisdom to share. They are not mine of course — I don’t profess to possess any great enlightenment — but are the suggestions from local mothers who responded to a call-out for the best advice for graduates on online mums’ groups. It will be interesting to see how it differs from advice imparted in a dads’ online group next week. A common theme from these women is that life is not a race. It is OK to change direction, they say, but do try things, and try hard, because you don’t build a reputation on what you are going to do. One woman said she reminded herself of that statement each and every day of her work life. Invest in four really good friendships at any one point, said another. You will need their diverse strengths and qualities throughout life, and they will need you. As one 73-year-old mother wrote, she still has friendships with people she met in grade one and two at primary school. But remember some friendships will come and go. If you need credit to buy something, you can’t afford it, unless it’s a car or house. It appears these Perth mums do not buy into the boho school of financial thought that all you need is love, with a common theme in the online discussion claiming it’s a fallacy that money doesn’t buy happiness. Or at least, money can save you stress, and can buy socio-economic advantage as well as the freedom to live in an area you like, leave a bad relationship or retrain for the job you want. So be sensible about your personal finances but stop reaching for wealth when you have enough. Don’t worship money. Greed is evil. Kindness travels. Stay grounded and go to nature in times of stress. You don’t have to understand the magic of its healing to experience it. Prioritise sustainability. As they say, we don’t have a Planet B. As many mums will tell you, if there is one skill you need to learn in life, it’s resilience, because pain is inevitable. It is just as much part of the human condition as joy and happiness. The last word goes not to Perth mums but to Don Miguel Ruiz, who wrote the bestseller The Four Agreements, based on the Toltec people of southern Mexico. Be impeccable with your word, he says. Avoid lies and gossip, and use your words to spread positivity. Don’t take things personally. Remember, people’s actions are based on who they are, not who you are. Don’t make assumptions. Ruiz explains this well but comedian Benny Hill put it better - if you assume you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me.” And finally, always do your best.