Screen Queen reviews: The Olympics, Too Hot To Handle, Elizabeth Taylor and a great David Attenborough doco

Paris Olympics

Screening on Nine

Sometimes if I’m having a tough week, feeling a bit anxious or world-weary, I’ll switch on free-to-air and play what I like to call Remote Roulette.

This essentially involves me flicking randomly, forcing myself to watch whatever’s on.

For someone who reviews television for a job, this feels needlessly reckless — after all, why risk ending up with reruns and obscure one-season-only dramas when I could use the on-demand version to watch all the other, better stuff demanding my attention?

But sometimes playing a bit of free-to-air double-dare is exactly what you need. There’s something about the removal of choice that feels calming, soothing even — almost comforting.

And I’m loving tuning into the Paris Olympics for this reason.

Forget watching it on streaming — I want the uncertainty of switching on the TV and having absolutely no idea what I’ll be met with. Will it be artistic gymnastics? Ping pong? The shooting? Maybe street skateboarding or Kath and Kel-style power walking (my personal fave).

Playing Remote Roulette means I have no idea, but you can bet your bottom dollar I’ll be an armchair expert after approximately three and a half minutes watching.

I’ll be able to tell you all about how hard a hip circle forward with 1.5 turns to a handstand is (onya Simone Biles!), or how the forward 4.5 somersault off the 10m board is agonisingly difficult (yay the Chinese team!). I’ll talk about the importance of musicality, vocabulary, originality, technique and execution when judging breakdancing — all through a mouthful of salt and vinegar chips.

The Olympics is the ultimate not-thinking-person’s television, and I am entirely there for it.

Dissociating never felt soo good!

Too Hot To Handle

Streaming now on Netflix

How has it taken me this long to discover this legitimately terrible reality series, all about a bunch of — and I’m quoting here — “naughty nymphos” being rewarded by a robot for NOT hooking up with one another while staying in a luxury villa.

Seriously, it’s some of the most awful television you’ll see this year . . . and I am utterly hooked.

Word to the converted: the final episodes drop this week, so we can all find out who’s avoided temptation and walked away with the cash jackpot.

Yes, I am judging myself as well.

Elizabeth Taylor: The Lost Tapes

Sunday, streaming on Binge

Directed by award-winning filmmaker Nanette Burstein, this excellent doco is all about the iconic screen siren, told in her own words using, as the title suggests, “lost tapes” from interviews conducted in the 1960s. Utterly fascinating — this is an incredible doco.

Secret World Of Sound With David Attenborough

Wednesday, streaming on Netflix

Who doesn’t love a doco with David Attenborough? Literally no one. This one sees advanced audio technology capturing “the sound of nature like you’ve never heard it before”. Sign us up.

Glastonbury Festival 2024

Friday, 8.30pm, SBS Viceland

Nothing can top actually being at Glasto, but watching it from the comfort of your couch is surely a close second? And no portaloo queues! This year Coldplay, Dua Lipa, Shania Twain and SZA perform and they’re phenomenal.