TV reviews: Dating Naked UK, Only Murders in the Building, The Rings of Power and Last King of the Cross

Dating Naked UK

Streaming now on Paramount Plus

“This programme contains full-frontal nudity, offensive language, sexual references and scenes of sexual activity,” says the disclaimer before the second episode of this dating show, which I made the mistake of tuning into in the middle of the office on a Tuesday afternoon.

Honestly, I don’t know what I expected from a show that promises to do exactly what it says on the label (10 contestants on a reality show, dating, naked), but it’s safe to say it wasn’t this.

Having accidentally skipped to the second episode, essentially I’d dispensed with formalities (those were long gone for the contestants, who by the second episode were more than happy to converse totally starkers save for the white plastic shoes they’d clearly been forced to wear for occupational health and safety reasons). I’d gone straight to full-frontal nudity and even some naked horseback riding.

But here’s the weird thing — it wasn’t their bits swinging about in the tropical breeze that had my brain boggling. It was the fact that after about 30 seconds of seeing everything (and I mean EVERYTHING), it all started to seem so . . . normal.

Maybe even a bit boring?

Weirdly, it didn’t take my brain long to get over the fact they were all completely starkers (no pixilation in this show!) and focus instead on the Love Island-esque storylines unfolding. Which I guess is the whole point: strip it back and we’re all essentially a bunch of meat puppets looking to be loved.

Or in the case of the contestants on this show, a bunch of meat puppets looking to be loved . . . and also potentially pick up a lucrative side hustle on Only Fans.

This show also made me feel heaps better about my own body as well.

Sure, all the contestants are impossibly well groomed (both up and downstairs), but there are a large variety of shapes and sizes on display, proving there truly is no such thing as the “perfect” bod.

Honestly, was not expecting ANY of this on a Tuesday arvo — apologies to my colleagues who were forced to take this journey with me.

Don’t report me to HR, OK?

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power

Thursday, streaming on Prime Video

Finally, the second season of Prime’s blockbuster fantasy series is here.

And while the first did a lot of world-building and character development and was, dare we say it, a little slow to get going, this one is shaping up to be a doozy, with all our favourite Middle Earthers back — and at risk of a run-in with The Dark Lord himself.

Turns out Halbrand (Charlie Vickers) wasn’t a “King of Men” after all — surprise! He’s Sauron! And poor old Galadriel just can’t catch a break.

I can’t tell you more about how this will play out, but mark my words: you’ll want to be tuning in when the show drops its first three episodes this Thursday.

Only Murders in the Building

Tuesday, streaming on Disney Plus

Martin Short, Steve Martin, Selena Gomez and a host of incredible guest stars, including Eugene Levy, Zach Galifianakis, Eva Longoria and Melissa McCarthy, are back for season four.

This time our podcast sleuthers are headed to California — producers want to turn their podcast into a movie. But how this will play out, and how it fits into Sazz’s murder (as seen in last year’s finale) is still wide open. Can’t wait.

Mean Girls (2024)

Wednesday, streaming on Paramount Plus

I recently watched this Mean Girls re-imagining, starring Perth’s Angourie Rice, on the plane and thought I was going to hate it. Nup! Loved it almost as much as the original. If you’ve not seen this yet, tune in.

Last King of the Cross

Friday, streaming on Paramount Plus

I really want to care about the exploits of a fictionalised John Ibraham, Sydney’s real-life nightclub baron. Alas, I remain unenthused. Still, season two is dropping this Friday if you’re still invested. One for fans.