Elevate your movie night with the ultimate snack pairing guide

What’s better than a night with a great movie or TV show? Pairing that viewing experience with the ultimate snack.

Genres and titles evoke different responses and emotional reactions, so why would your snack choice be the same no matter what you were watching? Popcorn is too simple, even when you can choose between classic buttered, intense caramel or cheesy.

For your weekend, we’ve compiled the ultimate guide to snacking while watching.

Note, for all the hot food items, obviously that’s for at-home consumption. Don’t torture your fellow cinemagoers by smuggling in a plate of nachos, no one will thank you for the smell of beans now or in an hour’s time.

ACTION MOVIES

OK, things are going kaboom. Michael Bay is doing his thing with the slow-motion camera pans and the American flag waving in the background. The soundtrack is loud and you can barely hear the banter between the inevitably male leads over the repeated blasts of guns-ablazing.

Or you’re watching one of the 143 Fast & Furious entries. The vroom of the engine, the tires squealing and the doosh-doosh musical cues are a cacophonous mix of overstimulation.

Such cinematic assaults can only be matched in aggression in the snack department. We’re talking loud, crunchy food like crisps or corn chips or peanut brittle. Get your fingers covered in Tasty Toobs dust, it’s all about going over the top and not giving a crap.

For the health conscious, now’s the time to pull out those carrot sticks that make your colleagues in an open-plan office shudder. Go ahead, make some noise masticating, no one will hear it anyway. Yippee ki-yaaaaaaay!

Bonus: Drinking game for whenever Vin Diesel stops to expound about the virtues of family.

Unrelated genre but this also applies to watching any episode of Grand Designs. Take a shot whenever Kevin McCloud hits the CON in any con-word (CONvention, CONstruction, CONcession, CONclussion, CONceptual) and you’re guaranteed to be sloshed before the windows are installed.

COMEDIES

You might think popcorn is the perfect accompaniment to a laugh-out-loud comedy but, depending how funny that movie or TV show actually is, it could be dangerous.

Popcorn kernel shards are more than just annoying, they’re low-key perilous, liable to get stuck in your teeth at the best of times.

You weirdly have to focus when eating popcorn because those little bits break apart inconsistently and you don’t want to be inhaling a razor-edged piece of kernel at the same time you’re guffawing to the most cutting joke on screen.

Comedies demand too much of a visceral, physical reaction from the viewer, especially our mouths, so, for a non-choking choice, go with chocolate.

There’s a limited amount in a chocolate bar or a bag of standard M&Ms (the peanut M&Ms shells are thicker and, therefore, riskier) so you’re not constantly shoving things into your mouth by the handful. It’s a treat to be doled out at pace, which gives you more freedom to laugh to your heart’s content.

ARTHOUSE AND DRAMAS

This is serious territory. You’re a thinker, you’re a feeler, you have class.

You need cheese. Show off your gourmet side with an expertly curated platter balanced with a variety of flavours and textures. Cheese can be strong on the olfactory senses, so this is definitely an at-home adventure.

You’ll want a blue (for something strong and robust, seek out the St Agur or a Stilton, for a milder and creamier flavour, d’Affinois’s is a delight), maybe a washed rind (ooo, the Epoisses or a D’Argental), and a semi-hard or hard cheese (you can’t go wrong with an 18-months aged Comte).

Through some jamon serrano on the side, a bunch of muscatels and the pinot paste from Tassie cheesemaker Grandvewe and you have a party going, but, you know, a dignified one. It’s also a great option for any gluten-free (but not lactose intolerant) friends as long as you cater with some rice crackers.

If it’s a solo venture, then no one will judge you for that supermarket Castello Blue (honestly the best cheese you can buy in any store with a self-checkout) or that netted bag of Babybels. Mmmm, yum.

Obviously, there’s a crunch factor happening with crackers (slightly less with lavosh) so time your bites. If someone onscreen is crying or being marched off to war, resist. Also acceptable, those overpriced but worth it French crisps, Brets.

Bonus: No episode of Mad Men is complete without an old fashioned cocktail. Double bonus: Ask your friend to make you an “old Spanish” and see if they pick up on the Mad Men/30 Rock crossover joke.

ROM-COMS

Now we’re in ice cream territory. The creamier, the better, and there is something about the indulgence of ice cream with the frothiness of a rom-com that marries so well.

If you’re at the cinemas, definitely go the choc-top, although they are not all created equal. Palace Cinemas uses Connoisseur brand ice cream and is always reliably delicious. The Event chain’s house brand’s ice cream is good but the cones are sometimes stale.

Hoyts stocks Bulla choc-tops, which are as bland as water and a complete waste of stomach space – if this is your only option, hit the supermarket first and grab some Maxibons.

If you’re at home, well, then all bets are on the table. Any brand, any flavour.

But, if you’re specifically watching a Nora Ephron or Nancy Meyers movies, allow yourself some pastries. You don’t want to get up to the scene in It’s Complicated where Meryl Streep is rolling out those pain au chocolats for Steve Martin and not have a stack in your own kitchen. You’re welcome.